Happy Birthday, Kamui!
by Katiria
Summary: Incomplete/Spoilers; This story probably never will be finished, but I got a kick out of it and I hope you do the same.
1. Part 1: The beginning

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HAPPY  
  
BIRTHDAY  
  
KAMUI!  
  
Pre-Author's note: Heh…I'm keeping this in its original state, but this story was actually started LAST year (2001) around this time…Hell, I'm even OLDER now. Anyway, as of right now it's incomplete, but I figured it was decent enough to post for y'all. And, as seems to be the case with most of my stories, I'm sure there are various spelling errors (I'm eloquent when talking, not typing, Dammit!) So, the "Author's note" is actually not up to date. ^_^; I guess that was the point I wanted to make.  
  
…I'll just stop typing now and let you read what I have of the damn thing…  
  
-Katiria  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Author's note: What spurred this? My Birthday is coming up (February 8th) and I once again find myself older than another Dragon…  
  
Katiria: Hee hee! I'm older than YOOOOOOUUUU!  
  
Kamui: That's not true! Keep in mind that you were Yuzuriha's age on the promised day!  
  
Yuzuriha: And that's a BAD thing?!!  
  
Or maybe it's from listening to Seishirou's "My Lover" song from TB over and over that's driven me insane…I think go with the latter. In fact, I'm insane enough to write a fic in something other than my specialty- That's right, folks! I'm not going to be writing in script form!  
  
Sorata: Damn! How am I supposed to find my lines then?!  
  
Yuuto: *Looking at script *"Yuuto looked at script, pondering where his lines were and what the hell he was suppose to say"…AAAAHHH! I CAN'T FOLLOW THIS!  
  
So if it sucks, blame the format- it's obviously not the author's fault! *Sweat drops * Heh heh…  
  
Today's Word of Wisdom: "In the War-over land where the world began, Prophecies say it's where the world will end…"  
  
*****  
  
Kamui Shirou sat slumped in a wooden chair at the head of a long table. Why had he told them? He didn't want this fanfare and feared all that was to come…  
  
"Happy Birthday to you," The cheerful Osaka boy seated to his right sang. Kamui wished he would shut up. He began plotting various ways to shove the cake littered with candles that sat in front of him where the sun don't shine on that Osaka boy. And of course it was littered with candles.  
  
"Karen-san got a little carried away decorating your cake!" Yuzuriha had laughed as she set the flaming pastry in front of him. Kamui had just glared, not because he was particularly annoyed, but because he liked glaring. In fact, some nights he would just lay awake in bed, perfecting his glaring and churning out different variations. He had perfected such glares as the "I'm pissed off at you, but I'll for give you for killing Kotori THIS time" glare, and the immortal "Touch me and I'll rip your f*cking arm off" glare.  
  
At that very moment he was wearing his "Just to let you know, I'm not happy to be here" glare. He glanced/glared up at the Sumeragi, who sat two seats to his left. Subaru didn't really seem to care much about being there, as he was puffing away on his cigarettes, wearing his "I'm a angsty bishonen, and you know you love me despite my depression" face. Kamui seriously considered asking Subaru to teach him a few of those expressions- after all, Subaru had been angsting longer than he had, yet he hadn't been driven to suicide yet. Kamui wondered if it was in the expression. Perhaps Subaru would teach him how to angst properly in return for a glaring lesson.  
  
"…Happy Birthday to you!" Sorata finished with a smile, as Kamui snapped back into reality. Everyone turned to look at him (minus Subaru, who had since zoned out into his own world of thoughts), expecting him to do what EVERY birthday boy does- blow out the candles!  
  
"…What?" Kamui glared at everyone, and tried to catch Subaru's eye, but failed miserably. It was his birthday, Dammit! The least Subaru could do was accept ONE glare. Kamui reminded himself that Subaru was nice most of the time so maybe he would let this slip and give up on the Sumeragi for the rest of the afternoon.  
  
Seiichirou smiled. "Make a wish Kamui! It's your Sweet 16!"  
  
Kamui stared at the candles. "…I don't care," he muttered.  
  
Sorata and Arashi looked at each other, not sure what to do next. Karen looked nervously at Kamui. Aoki smiled. Subaru remained on planet Tokyo Babylon angst. Yuzuriha blinked.  
  
"Do you want some Pocky instead?" She ventured, "I'm sure we can stick some into the cake and-"  
  
"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING!" Kamui snapped. Yuzuriha, Karen, and Aoki and Sorata jumped back. Subaru returned to earth, confused as hell, and tried to determine as discreetly as he could what was going on. Arashi returned Kamui's glare- damn her! She was nearly good as he was! He would have to learn her secret later. Sorata thought for a minute, then seemed to come up with an idea.  
  
"Skip around the room, Skip around the room," Sorata began singing. Kamui gritted his teeth and put a hand to his head. Not the "skip around the room" song! If only it wasn't Sorata's nature to be like this…  
  
Subaru looked over at Kamui. "So, uh," He said, looking like a deer in the headlights (well, the best he could with one eye), "why haven't you blown out your candles yet?"  
  
"…Won't shut up until you skip around the room!" Sorata grinned.  
  
Kamui sighed. In one slight effort he blew out the damn candles.  
  
"Skip around- that works too." Sorata ceased his god awful song- for the time being.  
  
"Did you make a wish?" Yuzuriha crept back to her chair.  
  
Kamui gave her a 'Do you THINK I made a wish?!' glare. "Of course."  
  
Yuzuriha blinked.  
  
*****  
  
Fuuma stared at the calendar. Something was special about this day.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" Fuuma turned to see the confused civil servant who apparently hadn't expected to find Dark Kamui behind his desk.  
  
"I was answering your phone while you were away." Fuuma smirked.  
  
Yuuto tried to consider how to approach this problem- Fuuma didn't like him as it was and he most certainly didn't want to piss of the most powerful guy on their team. But HIS job was at stake here, and this guy had no reason to be at the local ward office, especially during business hours.  
  
"Um, Kigai-san," a female co-worker laughed nervously, " He says he's your cousin Kamui…"  
  
Yuuto tried his best to keep his anger in check. "Get out."  
  
Fuuma laughed. "Make me."  
  
"Dammit, Fuuma, I'm work-"  
  
"Ore wa Kamui da."  
  
"Yes, Yes! Sorry! Kamui. I'm working right now, and I would really like to get back behind my desk…" Yuuto attempted to squeeze past Fuuma, who refused to move.  
  
"…We don't have a calendar back at the Headquarters." Fuuma said, seemingly out of the blue.  
  
Yuuto tried his best to figure out what the psycho meant. "I'm sorry-what?"  
  
"I said we don't have calendars back at the Headquarters."  
  
Yuuto looked at Fuuma like he was a deranged sewer rat, at a loss of what to say in response to that.  
  
"You want to know why I'm here, right?"  
  
Yuuto's "you're a deranged sewer rat" look changed to that of "you're a deranged sewer rat with rabies who's been sleeping with my sister". "You came…to my workplace…to look at my CALENDAR?!"  
  
Fuuma smiled. "Of course." He moved aside, clearing the path for Yuuto.  
  
"Jesus, You really ARE screwed up." Yuuto muttered as he moved towards his desk through the new opening. Fuuma just grinned and ripped out the Holy Sword. Within an instance, he had it to Yuuto's neck.  
  
"Don't you want to know WHY I was looking for a calendar?"  
  
"HOLY SHIT!" The Civil Servant cried. His adoring fan group of female co-workers bolted for the doors screaming.  
  
"Don't you think it's ODD that I'd be here looking for a calendar?"  
  
"Get that thing away from me!"  
  
"Well, ISN'T IT ODD?!"  
  
"Yes! YES!!! It's very odd!!"  
  
" Then you must be curious as to why I'm here…"  
  
"Oh, You bet!" Even in the face of danger, Yuuto's sarcastic wit couldn't be suppressed.  
  
"Then why haven't you ASKED?" Fuuma ran a finger along the blade of the sword.  
  
Yuuto sighed. He really wasn't in the mood for this. "WHY were you looking for a calendar, Fuuma?"  
  
"Ore wa-"  
  
"My bad. KAMUI."  
  
Fuuma grinned and lowered the sword. "You tell me." Yuuto blinked.  
  
"Tell…you?" The Civil Servant didn't like the direction this was going.  
  
Fuuma seated himself on top of the desk. "This day is special- no doubt about it." He grinned. "I can feel it."  
  
"Ah…but you don't know WHY…I getcha now…" Yuuto nodded. He hoped to resolve this soon and convince his co-workers that he hadn't REALLY been threatened with a sword by his "cousin".  
  
"Therefore, YOU tell me why today is special."  
  
"Um…"  
  
*****  
  
Kamui slowly chewed his cake. It was chocolate.  
  
"Yum! This is great!" Yuzuriha laughed. She was having a grand ol' time. 'Good for her,' Kamui thought. He didn't really mean it, though. He was 16, dammit. HE was suppose to be having fun. Not HER. Not that he was bitter. No, Kamui was never bitter. He LIKED his fate. He LIKED watching his childhood friend kill his love interest. He LIKED watching the Sumeragi suffer at his friend's hand. He LIKED all of that, of course. Kamui looked down at the half-eaten dessert. Chocolate. Fuuma and Kotori used to like Chocolate.  
  
Kotori.  
  
And Fuuma.  
  
Kamui greedily shoved what remained on his plate into his mouth. SCREW THEM! It was HIS 16th Birthday!  
  
The other Ten no Ryu glanced over at the Chipmunk-cheeked Bishonen.  
  
"At least he's having fun…" Sorata commented.  
  
  
*****  
Yuuto wasn't having fun. Being duct taped to the wall was FAR from fun in his book.  
  
"So," Fuuma smiled, tossing a stapler back and forth in his hands, "Why is today special?"  
  
Yuuto glared (not nearly as well as Kamui, mind you) at Dark Kamui. "How the hell should I know?"  
  
Fuuma smirked and shrugged. "I suppose Satsuki will have a staple encrusted boyfriend for the next month."  
  
"We're not an official couple!" Yuuto reminded him, in an attempt not to offend any Karen/Yuuto or Kanoe/Yuuto shippers.  
  
Fuuma ignored his comment and drove a staple into the civil servant's forehead.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Yuuto thrashed about in pain, unable to actually do anything because of his current state.  
  
"WHY IS TODAY SPECIAL?!"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW!!"  
  
Fuuma drove another staple into his forehead, causing Yuuto to utter so many profanities, it would have put Fred Durst and Eminem to shame.  
  
"WHAT IS TODAY?!"  
  
"ARGGHHHH!!! F*CK YOU, FUUMA!!!"  
  
The room suddenly became deathly quiet.  
  
"What…was that, Yuuto?" Fuuma narrowed his eyes.  
  
Yuuto knew he was in deep shit. "Uhm…I didn't mean it! Really!"  
  
"Did you direct the f-word towards me?"  
  
"Actually, it was directed to the staple that someone ever so kindly DROVE INTO MY FOREHEAD!!!" Yuuto decided if he was already doomed, there was nothing that could make matters worse.  
  
Fuuma grabbed Yuuto face. "Never…call me Fuuma."  
  
Yuuto blinked. "THAT was the f-word?! I thought-"  
  
"Why is today special?"  
  
*****  
  
"Come on, Kamui! Aren't you even going to guess what it is?" Karen chided.  
  
Kamui glared at her and back at the 'gift' that sat in front of him. It looked vaguely familiar.  
  
" It's my Holy Sword, isn't it?"  
  
Karen blinked. Damn, he was good. "Let me point out that this is that very Holy Sword that disappeared a month ago."  
  
"…the one you said you knew nothing about." Kamui sighed and pushed the gift aside. Karen took on an expression of slight disappointment.  
  
"HEY! I'm returning it now, aren't I?" What an ungrateful child Kamui was! Hadn't his mother taught him ANYTHING about manners?  
  
Seiichirou adjusted his glasses and stared at the discarded present. "Why on earth would you need the Holy Sword of Kamui?"  
  
Karen shrugged. "I decide if I was going to take out Yuuto, now would as good a time as any, and as you all know, that sword is rather powerful."  
  
"WHAT?!!" Sorata exclaimed. Kamui tried to determine if the Kouya monk was seriously offended or not to no avail. " Yuuto's MY opponent!"  
  
"That's odd," Karen jeered, "we made a pact to fight each other to the end."  
  
As the Osaka boy and the Soapland hostess quarreled, Kamui slipped out, unseen.  
  
  
*****  
Yuuto had never been particularly fond of office supplies. In fact, one of his earliest memories involved paper clips and automatic pencils. It wasn't a good one. When Yuuto Kigai had been 9, his homeroom teacher left his class alone while she went to make copies. Yuuto, being the character he was, for some reason or another got into her desk. What followed was not a pretty sight.  
  
"How the HELL did you manage this, Kigai?!" had been the School Nurse's exact words as she had pulled a pencil out of his ear to add to the pile of pencils and paper clips that had grown in her trash. Yuuto hadn't known the answer, but knew something else that he had kept to himself: Office supplies were evil.  
  
Despite this early childhood trauma (which Yuuto kept with him throughout his years), Yuuto eagerly assumed his current position in the Local Shinjuku ward office. Mind you, he still found himself a bit terrified of the box of paper clips that sat on his desk, as well suffering from a slight vertigo when ever he was asked to fill out forms with an automatic pencil. But he would always flash a playboy smile and remove any suspicion that he had a phobia of anything from Office Max.  
  
**He never went near the stapler.**  
  
"What is today?" Dark Kamui came at him again.  
  
"I DON'T KNOW!" Yuuto was crying. 'Dammit,' He thought, 'I hope you're happy Fuuma! You've reduced me to tears!'  
  
"WHAT IS TO-"  
  
" I DON'T KNOW! YOUR BIRTHDAY?!"  
  
Dark Kamui stopped in his tracks. "Birth…day?" He dropped the stapler and quickly took his leave. Yuuto sighed with relief, until he realized he was still bleeding from the head AND still taped to the wall.  
  
"FUUUUUUUUUMMMMMAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The response from the hall was faint, but still audible: "ORE WA KAMUI DA!"  
  
*****  
  
What's so great about being 16? In America, it's fine and dandy. You can officially start learning to drive, as well as legally sign agreements without parental consent. However, for Kamui, 16 wasn't much of an improvement over 15. He found himself wandering through the streets of Tokyo, looking for something to brighten his day.  
  
Not that anything WOULD. No, he had taken the solemn Clamp Bishonen vow, to never have fun and to be eternally angsting. Like his predecessor, Subaru, Kamui had no plans to have fun anytime soon.  
  
"Hello,…Little Ten no Ryu." Kamui jerked his head around to see who spoke to him. Nataku poked its head out from behind a building and smirked.  
  
"What do you want NOW?!" Kamui really didn't have any reason to be mad at Nataku. The Gender-less one hadn't really done anything to him, per say, but Kamui wasn't feeling the birthday spirit.  
  
Nataku stepped from behind the building to reveal that its arms were bound with the cloth that was always seen floating around it. Kamui also noted that it had several marks that could be attributed to a whipping the aforementioned cloth. "Daddy got a bit mad that I didn't have a calendar…" Nataku laughed nervously, " And I was wondering if-"  
  
Kamui sighed and approached the thing. Nataku continued its uneasy chortling as Kamui began to loosen its bindings. "You see, Daddy remembers that today is special, but he doesn't know WHY, and he really needed a calendar…"  
  
Kamui froze. Fuuma…remembered?  
  
"…and so he played with me for awhile and then ran off to find Yuuto, because he works for the people of Japan, so he's got to have a calendar, right? And- HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"  
  
"Yuuto…works in Shinjuku, right?" Kamui didn't wait for an answer before bolting off. If Fuuma could remember who he was…then that would be one birthday present Kamui would value.  
  
Nataku sighed. "Loser. You didn't even finish untying me!…I'll bet daddy'll say it was my 'destiny' to be bound…" It walked off slowly to find someone to finish the job Kamui had started.  
  
  
*****  
"Where could he have gone?" Yuzuriha wondered as the Ten no Ryu reconvened in the room that they had previously been celebrating Kamui's birthday in. Subaru lit up another cigarette.  
  
Sorata shrugged. "Kamui's been having a tough time. Probably went to blow off some steam or something."  
  
"You know that can't be right." Arashi replied. Sorata laughed.  
  
"Ne-chan, sometimes you've got to look on the bright side."  
  
"You don't think he wasn't enjoying his birthday party, do you?" Yuzuriha turned to Aoki, who just laughed nervously.  
  
"You never can tell with Kamui." Aoki laughed. "If I had to guess, he's probably off looking for that childhood friend of his…"  
  
Everyone became silent.  
  
"For that SICK GUY?!" Sorata cried, only to receive a glare from Arashi.  
  
" If I remember correctly, Fuuma was a decent human being before the Chi no Ryu got to 'im." Karen said.  
  
"I suppose we could go ask Hinoto where he is…" Aoki began.  
  
Everyone laughed.  
  
"Ask HINOTO? That was a good one, Aoki…" Sorata chuckled.  
  
"I try." Aoki smiled.  
  
*****  
  
"Me thinks I preferred Fuuma." Yuuto sarcastically muttered.  
  
Kamui had shown up at his office no more than 20 minutes after his evil counterpart had left. Yuuto had hoped, since Kamui was supposedly the nicer one, he'd un-tape him and life would go on. But no, Kamui wanted answers and he wanted them now.  
  
And he had PAPER CLIPS.  
  
Kamui flung another paper clip at the Civil Servant.  
  
"Dammit, that isn't scary! Just annoyi-OW!" Yuuto cried as Kamui hit him in the eye.  
  
"Where is Fuuma?"  
  
Not THIS again. Yuuto sighed and shifted his position best he could.  
  
"Fuuma? I haven't seen him."  
  
"I suppose you expect me to believe you taped yourself to that wall?"  
  
"Of course." Yuuto gave Kamui a playboy smile and laughed.  
  
Kamui, at a loss of what to do in response, glared and threw another paper clip at Yuuto.  
  
"Would you CUT THAT OUT?!" Yuuto sulked. F*cking kids these days, with no f*cking respect for their f*cking elders-  
  
" You also expect me to believe you stapled yourself 14 times in the forehead too?" Kamui smirked.  
  
"Ah…right. That…I did it before I taped myself to the wall."  
  
"Riiiiiight." Kamui put down the paper clips and walked to get something to drink- it was his birthday, after all, and he would do as he liked. As he frequented a water cooler, he called to Yuuto; "I know Fuuma was here. I just want to know where he is now."  
  
Yuuto smirked. " Fuuma? Here? Never!"  
  
Kamui wandered back to Yuuto's desk space, getting visibly angrier. "Tell me where Fuuma is. NOW." Yuuto shrugged.  
  
A moment later Yuuto found himself in greater pain, as well as with a voice 3 octaves higher than it should have been, if you catch my drift. "Oooooowwwww…" Kamui grabbed him by the hair.  
  
"Where…is…FUUMA?"  
  
Yuuto cursed at the boy. "I don't know, all right? He wanted to know why today was special and then he left! Happy?!"  
  
"What did you tell him?" Kamui put his face right next to Yuuto's, so the Civil servant could look at him in the eyes. "You must have told him SOMETHING of interest."  
  
"All I said was that it was probably his damn Birth-my god, kid! How the HELL did your eyes get that color?! Did you ingest toxic chemicals as a child?!"  
  
"…" Kamui let the Civil Servant go. Where had Fuuma gone? "I think you're lying."  
  
"For the love of the Promised day…! Do I have go through another torture session?!" Yuuto snapped.  
  
" I dunno…was that how Fuuma got answers out of you?"  
  
Yuuto sighed. Time to get rid of this little pest. "He ran off to Ueno park." Yuuto lied.  
  
"Ueno? Why…?"  
  
"Destiny, perhaps?" Yuuto smirked. Kamui didn't seem pleased with the answer, but he took his leave anyway.  
  
*****  
  
Satsuki didn't like dealing with people. She found most humans utterly boring and sought solace in her computer. She also, however, didn't like the Holy Sword to her throat.  
  
"G-Good Morning, Fu-Kamui." She smiled sweetly as she sent a cry for help to the Beast.  
  
"Is today my Birthday?" Fuuma turned at the sound of cables exploding from the floor. With a quick swing of the ol' sword, they were no longer a threat. He turned back to Satsuki. "Answer my question and don't try anything like that again." He poked her slightly with the sword because he was sadistic like that.  
  
"Heh Heh…" Satsuki made a quick request of data. "No, it isn't your birthday today."  
  
Fuuma was puzzled. Had the civil servant lied?  
  
"Yuuto Kigai will die for this." He announced and started to leave.  
  
"WAIT!!!" Satsuki was in no mood to have Fuuma killing her rumored love interest. " Let me check again!" She searched her data a second time. Fuuma returned to her side. "Well, well! Isn't this interesting?" Satsuki laughed nervously, "it's Kamui Shirou's birthday!"  
  
Fuuma tilted his head to the side. He was Kamui.  
  
" I thought as much." He started to leave again, bringing great relief to Satsuki.  
  
*****  
  
Sorata and Arashi made their way through the streets discreetly.  
  
Well, as discreetly as two people shouting.  
  
"KAMUI!!!!!" Sorata turned to Arashi and shrugged.  
  
"Where could he have gone?" Arashi muttered.  
  
Sorata laughed. "He's probably just out reflecting on things. In all likelihood, it's nothing we should be worrying about…"  
  
"Umm…Excuse me." Arashi and Sorata turned to see Nataku.  
  
"CHI NO RYU!" Arashi cried, jumping back as Sorata readied a Kekkai.  
  
Nataku sighed. It was because it had no gender, wasn't it? Everybody was always so mean to trans-gendered people as it was-what about asexual beings? They need rights too, dammit! Nataku decided it'd visit its local government office and file a request that the society should become more accepting of its disabled. That is, right after it freed its arms. "I'm not here to fight. I just want my arms back."  
  
Sorata blinked. "Uh…sure." He said and began unwinding the Nataku.  
  
"Sorata, we don't have time for this! We need to find Kamui!" Arashi exclaimed. Sorata waved a hand.  
  
"Ne-chan, he's probably just sitting in a corner somewhere. He'll be fine."  
  
"You're…looking for Kamui?" Arashi and Sorata glanced back at the slowly unraveling Nataku.  
  
"…Yeah, do you know where he is?" Sorata watched as Nataku held up its arms. It wasn't about to just let another person get away without untying it. It needed to go speak with the government, after all. Sorata sighed and continued undoing the cloth. Arashi sighed.  
  
"For all it's worth, Kamui better be sorry for all the concern he's caused." She announced under her breath. Sorata just smiled and finished up on Nataku, who flexed its arms to make sure they still worked.  
  
"…He went to see Yuuto." Nataku explained as it put its cloth back in orbit around itself. Sorata nodded and turned to Arashi.  
  
"To Yuuto, then?"  
  
Arashi shook her head. "Why not?"  
  
*****  
  
Kamui leaned against a tree. Where was Fuuma? Surely Yuuto hadn't been lying just to get rid of him. Kamui smirked. Of course the Civil Servant had. Why WOULDN'T he?  
  
Kamui noted a sudden change in surroundings. He hadn't been moving so this could only mean one thing, seeing as he was in Ueno: Everyone's favorite Assassin had shown up.  
  
"Hello, little Ten no Ryu." Seishirou stepped out from behind HIS Sakura tree and removed his sunglasses. Kamui smiled. It was his birthday and one of his birthday wishes was to be the one to play with someone's head/emotions for once. 'I've suffered enough!' Kamui thought, 'and it's time for payback!' Seeing as Fuuma was nowhere to be found, Seishirou would have to do. Kamui decided that if he needed to justify his actions later, he would just say he was doing it for Subaru's sake.  
  
"Hey there, Seishirou!" Kamui waved.  
  
Seishirou blinked. What was this kid DOING? Wasn't he suppose to be the weakling, angsty one- like Subaru, only more submissive while conscious? Not really sure how to answer, Seishirou responded, "Um…Hey there, Kamui."  
  
"How's life treating ya?"  
  
"…" Seishirou couldn't believe this kid. What did he think he was doing?  
  
"Life treating you good? Or bad? Or maybe somewhere in between?"  
  
"What the HELL?! Never mind-I'm gonna kill you now anyway." Seishirou charged at Kamui who nimbly dodged.  
  
"Geez-that was WEAK. Your age taken effect on your fighting abilities?"  
  
Seishirou gave Kamui a gesture that was none too nice and muttered a very bad word. Kamui just laughed. It was his Birthday.  
  
*****  
  
Subaru sat on a park bench, smoking yet another damn cigarette. They reminded him of his elder love interest. His thoughts turned to the events at Rainbow bridge…  
  
No wait- They didn't. There will be no loopholes in this story. Seishirou isn't dead! He's STILL HERE!!!! And, according to the April '01 edition of Asuka, He truly loved Subaru! HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!  
  
Subaru glared at the author. "Do you think it's possible for you to write a story without appearing in it yourself?"  
  
The author laughed. "Well, I don't really have anything to do with you, but I need some filler space. If you have any better ideas, I'd love to hear 'em."  
  
Subaru blinked. "You need some filler space, huh? Well, Someone told me a joke the other day. I mean, I was still really angsty, but it made me laugh on the inside. Would you like to hear it?"  
  
"I suppose," The author took a seat next to the bishonen and awaited the joke.  
  
"All right- so, Kamui owns this clothing shop, right?"  
  
"Riiiight,…"  
  
"And Fuuma comes in, and he's like 'Hey Kamui! Do you got any wood pants?' And Kamui says, 'Sure! There in the first room in the back!'"  
  
The author sighed. " I think I know this one."  
  
"…and so Fuuma tries them on and they don't fit, so he goes back and asks Kamui for some metal pants, and Kamui directs him to the second room in the back. Well, when those don't fit, Fuuma asks if he's got any glass pants. When Kamui tells him they're in the third room in the back, Fuuma rushes to try them on. They fit perfectly, and so Fuuma come out wearing them, and thanks Kamui. Kamui then say, 'Fuuma, I used to think you were crazy, but now I see you're nuts!'"  
  
"Heh heh…Like I said, I've heard it before."  
  
Subaru was rolling around, giggling on the bench. "Hee hee! Get it? "**You're** nuts"? "**Your** nuts"? HEE HEE!!!!"  
  
The author shook her head and walked off as Subaru continued thrashing about. "I need to find someone else to do the next filler.  
  
*****  
  
Yuuto was nearly free from his wall prison. This was good. Soon the staples would be out of his forehead and-  
  
"Going somewhere, Ni-chan?"  
  
DAMMIT!!!!  
  
Sorata placed a hand on Yuuto's shoulder and shoved him back into wall. "So, what do you know about Kamui's whereabouts?"  
  
"I think I've been through enough for one day," Yuuto muttered, trying to remove Sorata's hand with his one free hand.  
  
"That's all good and well, Ni-chan, but until we learn where Kamui- Hey! Did Our little buddy put all those things in your head?"  
  
Yuuto gritted his teeth. "No, your "little buddy" threw paper clips at me. These are from OUR Kamui."  
  
"Wow…lucky you." Sorata pulled over a swivel chair, while Arashi leaned back against the wall. "I'd bet you'd REALLY like me to un- tape you."  
  
"Yes, but I know your nature, kid." Yuuto smirked, "And that's not in the cards, is it, now?"  
  
"That depends." Sorata returned the smirk. "Ne-chan?"  
  
Arashi turned her head to her partner. "Yes?"  
  
"Get some black markers- I'm sure Yuuto has a few, nice, thick, strong ones in his drawers."  
  
'Oh shit…,' Yuuto thought.  


*****  
Fuuma stood in the elevator, waiting for the doors to close. The background muzak was "Chariots of Fire". Two businessmen entered before the doors closed, selecting their desired floors.  
  
One of them smiled and turned to Fuuma. " So, where are you headed?"  
  
"Down." Fuuma smiled.  
  
The two businessmen looked at each other and exchanged confused expressions.  
  
"Down?" The other one asked, "but the only thing in the basement is-"  
  
"The Yumeni." A large, evil grin worked its way across Dark Kamui's face.  
  
The two businessmen turned very quiet.  
  
"Chariots of Fire" continued to play mightily. That is, until the power went out in the elevator shaft.  
  
"What?!" Fuuma pounded his fist against the keypad of floors.  
  
"Hm…Looks like we're trapped in this elevator for awhile, huh guys?" A businessman laughed.  
  
Fuuma sighed. He had come prepared for such an incident. As he sat, crosslegged in a corner of the elevator, he pulled out his Diskman and started up some hard rock.  
  
  
*****  
Kamui laughed as the assassin's face grew red with anger.  
  
"You're such an insolent boy…" Seishirou grumbled.  
  
"Hey- if I resonate with it, will your fake eye explode?" Kamui began trying to find the right note, pissing off the Sakurazukamori even further.  
  
"You're one of Subaru-kun's friends? I was under the impression he had better taste than this. Oh well…" Seishirou whipped out an ofuda. "Let's try this, shall we?"  
  
Kamui smirked. "Let's. Or you can tell me where Fuuma REALLY is."  
  
Seishirou blinked. The kid was looking for FUUMA? "Last I knew, he was back at our Headquarters…"  
  
Kamui nodded and took his leave. Seishirou watched him go, then set out to find a certain Onmyouji to play with…  


*****

  
"Can I help you, Sir-er-Ma'am?" The receptionist wasn't exactly certain how to address the figure before her.  
  
"I wish to see the Senator or whoever is allotted to this prefecture of Tokyo, please." Nataku smiled. It was going be heard, dammit!  
  
"I'm sorry, Miss, but you need an appointment." The receptionist decided Nataku was a girl. True, she was only basing this off its voice, but she couldn't think of any non-gender specific pronouns.  
  
Nataku frowned. This wasn't good. Action needed to be taken for asexual beings, and it needed to be taken now. The receptionist, meanwhile, was trying to come up with an explanation for the cloth that was floating around its body. "Are you SURE you couldn't just squeeze me in?"  
  
"I'm very sorry. There just isn't any time for you to meet with him today."  
  
"I see. In that case, can I schedule an appointment for a later date?"  
  
"Certainly. Let me just check the planner," The receptionist flipped through the pages of the large book. "How does next Wednesday at 2 sound?"  
  
"Is that the earliest time I can arrange?"  
  
"I'm afraid so."  
  
"Very well," Nataku sighed, "Put me down for then."  
  
"Certainly. Your name?"  
  
"Nataku."  
  
The receptionist penned its name in. "And may I ask the purpose of your meeting?"  
  
"I wish to discuss the rights of certain individuals."  
  
"Do you think you could be more specific?"  
  
Nataku laughed nervously. "I want to push for the rights of people with no specific gender."  
  
The receptionist stared at the Chi no Ryu in front of her, not sure what to say. "I hate to burst your bubble," She said, putting her pencil down, "But that's more of an issue for 'Amnesty International'."  
  
" 'Amnesty'…?"  
  
The receptionist sighed and pulled out some pamphlets. "Just go to the address on those. I'm sure they'll be glad to help you."  
  
Nataku blinked. "…Thanks…"  
  
  
*****

  
Yuuto was planning his revenge. It would be sweet. It would be applied to Fuuma, Kamui, and, of course, "that cheerful Osaka boy", whom Yuuto despised immensely. On deeper consideration, he decided he'd add Seishirou to the torture-fest, because Seishirou had it coming in his mind. 'On another note,' Yuuto thought, 'I hope I'm not allergic to this ink.'  
  
Sorata finished writing 'Ore wa baka da' on Yuuto's cheek and sat back. He laughed and looked over at his love interest, who was busy drawing smiley faces on the Civil Servant's neck. "So, Ne-chan, I wonder if Yuuto wants to talk."  
  
Yuuto sneered. "You think DRAWING on me, after all I've been through, will make me tell you anything?"  
  
"No," Sorata replied, "But I was hoping the fumes from these markers would cloud your judgment." He shoved his fat pen right under Yuuto's nose. "Breathe away, Ni-chan."  
  
Yuuto narrowed his eyes. The fumes were foul smelling and made him feel nauseous. "Ha ha. Very funny. Now, would you please remove it, Sorata-kun?"  
  
"No chance, Ni-chan." The Osaka boy winked. "Think of all the brain damage this'll do."  
  
Arashi perked up. "Sorata-san," She said, " Have you really stooped so low as to force someone who can't even fight back to lose their cognitive skills, just for your personal gain?"  
  
Sorata thought a moment. "Yup."  
  
"Just checking- I'd feel a little guilty if I didn't…HEY! I'm gonna draw some pictures on his stomach!"  
  
"I'll tape his hand back down!" Sorata grabbed the roll of tape from the floor and held Yuuto's hand to the wall.  
  
'Oh well,' Yuuto thought as he was reapplied to the wall, 'it was going to be a long day anyway.' He looked over the Arashi, who has begun to unbutton his shirt on what little of his upper torso wasn't strapped to the wall. "Can I make a request for a "tattoo" of a penguin?"  
  
"I'll see what I can do." Arashi muttered.  
  
"Y'know…" Sorata said, "If we kill enough brain cells, I bet we can take his wallet too."  
  
*****  
  
Kanoe listened to Satsuki's complaints with little interest.  
  
"…And he held that sword to my throat, and the Beast couldn't do anything, but-"  
  
"Satsuki, you know as well as I that Fuuma is the other Kamui. There is nothing I can do about it." Kanoe folded her arms.  
  
"B-but he could have killed me! It would have been like the movie!!"  
  
"Excuse me," Kanoe hissed, "but perhaps some people don't want the movie spoiled for them. Besides, the Beast killed you in the Movie, not Fuuma."  
  
"Still, I would feel a lot safer if you asked him to keep his distance from me." Satsuki frowned, then added on thought, "Say- have you heard from Yuuto today?"  
  
Kanoe tilted her head. "No-why? Is something up?"  
  
"Fuuma- He made a comment about killing Yuuto…I think, maybe, he was talking to him before he came to hassle me…"  
  
Kanoe sighed and shifted in her seat. "What are you saying?"  
  
"I think that maybe…well, what if Fuuma's hurt Yuuto in some way?" Satsuki turned and headed for the door. "I'm going to go find out!!"  
  
"Have fun." Kanoe muttered and went back to what she had previously been doing- Reading Playgirl (that slut!).  


*****

  
Hinoto was in the dream realm. She was playing cards with Kakyou, who had changed their "dreamscape" to a beach side terrace. Hinoto's theory was if you already knew the future, and your "dark" form had taken over and was telling your dragons what to do, then there was no reason not to have fun before the Promised Day™. However, she was beginning to doubt her ability at poker…  
  
(((NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ))) Hinoto moaned, throwing her cards on the table, (((There's NO way you won again!)))  
  
The other Yumeni laughed. "You're just bitter. Play again?"  
  
Hinoto frowned. (((This place is your creation. I think you made it so I'll always lose.)))  
  
"Fine then. Do you want to play Monopoly?"  
  
(((Only if I get to be the doggie…)))  
  
"Deal!"  
  
Instantly a game board materialized before them. Hinoto smiled and was reaching for her piece when a voice, dripping with, well, darkness echoed through the dream, asking who they were and what was going on. Actually, its exact words were something along the lines of:  
  
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DOMAIN?!?!"  
  
Hinoto looked over at the source of the voice. ((( YOUR Domain?! Excuse me?!))  
  
Kakyou, who had been in his dreams for the past 9 years, was similarly annoyed. "I do believe this is my Dreamscape. Who, pray tell, are you, and why have you come in here uninvited?"  
  
The figured snorted and stepped out of the shadows. "I have many names, but you may call me Morpheus. I am the Ruler of Dreams, one of the Endless. I have come here because I was curious as to how it was mere humans could manipulate dreams, my very power, and look into their particles and see the future." The Sandman walked over to the two seated at the table. "But I didn't realize I was dealing with Yumeni." He smiled.  
  
Hinoto arched an eyebrow. ((I see. Well, Morpheus, care to join us?)) She motioned to an empty space, which Kakyou quickly filled with another chair.  
  
Morpheus shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I have far too much work to do. See, I was imprisoned a few years back, and I'm rather busy rebuilding my kingdom right now, so-"  
  
"AAAAAWWWWWWW!!!" Kakyou whined, "Spoil sport!"  
  
"I'm afraid my kingdom takes precedence over cards. In the years I was gone, my kingdom fell to ruins. My subjects suffered. Mortals suffered- many souls became trapped in never ending dreams. It was,…horrible, to say the least. When I returned I was shocked to find my castle in ruins. My servant Luciens explained to me that many had left in my absence, and that my library was gone, among other things. I couldn't just start rebuilding then. No, I had to go find my magical items first, each which contained a certain amount of my power. I found my sand with a woman named Rachel, and my helmet I won back from a demon in Hell. My ruby, it was the hardest to recover…" The Sandman paused to reflect some more on his life, "I had to fight a man named John Dee to get it back. He had been using it to his own advantage for many years and he almost defeated me, even in my own domain. But he made a mistake at the last moment and destroyed the ruby, which returned to me all the power in poured into it. In between that, A vertex, and several other crackpot happenings, I haven't had much time to rebuild my domain as much as I would like. I'm terribly sorry." Morpheus turned and headed off in the direction he had come. "Perhaps some other time. Good-"  
  
((But,)) Hinoto said, ((We're playing Monopoly, not cards.))  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"Can I be the banker?"  
  
"Sure can." Kakyou smiled.  
  
"WHOO HOO!!!" The Dream king exclaimed, and jogged back over to the table.

*****  
  
Subaru walked out of the Pharmacy, pocketing his new supply of cigarettes. He was struck by a sudden, CERTAIN feeling. He turned, looking longingly into the breeze. "Seishirou-san…?"  
  
Hands were suddenly thrown over his eye(s). Subaru struck back by elbowing his attacker in the stomach. A high pitch squeak was heard, and Subaru realized he'd made a mistake. He turned quickly to see Yuzuriha, curled over in pain, Inuki looking on worried.  
  
"SORRY!!! I'm sorry!!!" Subaru cried and rushed over to the girl. "Are you all right?!"  
  
Yuzuriha smiled. "I'm fine. Thanks for the concern."  
  
Subaru bowed his head. "I-I thought you were someone else."  
  
"It's ok! You're forgiven!" Yuzuriha laughed, "You're too polite!"  
  
"I didn't mean to hit you." Subaru reminded her.  
  
"I understand! I understand!" She said, then, with a slight evil smirk, she added, "You thought I was the Sakurazukamori, right?"  
  
Subaru turned a little red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. I just got that special feeling I get when he's around."  
  
" 'Special feeling'?"  
  
"A warm fuzzy feeling in my heart."  
  
"RIIIIIIGHT." Yuzuriha muttered. "Oh! Have you found Kamui yet?"  
  
Subaru blinked. "Oh-that's right. Kamui."  
  
Yuzuriha narrowed her eyes. "You two are so close. How could you forget you were looking for him?!" She took a closer look at his coat and within a single motion had removed several cigarette boxes from his pocket. "Ahh…it all makes sense. You were still thinking about HIM when we decided to go looked for Kamui, weren't you?"  
  
Subaru smiled, slightly. " I am ALWAYS thinking about him."  
  
Yuzuriha grabbed his hand. "All the MORE reason you should come search for Kamui with me!"  
  
"HUH?!"  
  
"Well, seeing as we're both ALONE, I think if we joined we'd be more successful!" She grinned and began dragging the Onmyouji after her. Inuki barked in agreement.  
  
As the man was lead off, he turned to the wind one last time. 'Seishirou-san…' He thought solemnly as he walked off.  
  
Unseen by anyone else, a nearby assassin who had been watching all along laughed to himself.  
  
*****

"Anyone home?" Kamui called as he walked into the seemingly empty Chi no Ryu HQ.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Kusanagi emerged, not sounding overly concerned.  
  
"Have you seen Fuuma?"  
  
"Depends. Have you seen the Missy?"  
  
"Last I saw her, she was hassling me about Pocky."  
  
"Ah…" The Soldier sighed, "Good times, good times. Well, I'm sorry to be of no help, but-"  
  
"KAMUI?!" The two turned to see a shocked Kanoe standing in the doorway. "WHAT-WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!"  
  
"I'm just looking for my friend, whom you so kindly corrupted." Kamui crossed his arms and sneered. Any other day he might have thought twice about this behavior, but today was HIS day. It was HIS birthday. Tomorrow, he'd go back to his glaring practice, but today he was going to experiment with a variety of expressions.  
  
"I corrupted?! DESTINY CORRUPTED HIM!"  
  
"Ah…so you admit this side is the corrupt one?"  
  
"Shove it, Shirou." Kanoe hissed and stormed out.  
  
"That time of the month." Kusanagi whispered.  
  
Kamui nodded. "So I gathered…"  


*****

  
Yuuto finally could relate with that Beatles song he had so enjoyed as a kid. Too bad he couldn't remember which one it was that he liked due to his state of consciousness.  
  
"…Life is nothing, it's a nothing, life is nothing but a slap in the face!" Yuuto giggled, roughly to the tune of the Baha Men's song.  
  
"Wow, is HE ever gone." Sorata remarked. "Oi! Ni-chan!" He waved his hand in front of Yuuto's glazed over eyes to no avail.  
  
"Every night I have a dream that you're takin' off your dress. The only thing you're wearing in a button on your chest." Yuuto sung.  
  
"Great. He's too stoned to tell us where Kamui is. Good job, Sorata-san." Arashi muttered.  
  
"DAMMIT, YUUTO!" Sorata cried and slapped the civil servant across the face. Yuuto was quiet for a moment, but then looked at the Osaka boy with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
"All right. I'll change songs." He grinned and continued with Erasure's 'Chains of Love'.  
  
"Kusooooo," Sorata cried.  
  
"Let's go." Arashi grabbed Sorata's arm and dragged the dejected monk from the room. No sooner had they left when Satsuki entered.  
  
"Yuuto? Are you- OH MY GOD!!!" Satsuki jumped a little at the sight of Yuuto duct taped, bleeding and vandalized to some extent. As she peeled him free from the wall, she asked him, "Are you ok?!"  
  
He looked her right in the eye. "We used to talk about the weather, making plans together, days would last forever…"  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!"  
  


*****  
  
Fuuma restarted his CD for the 4th time. The Business men had been brutally killed a full 15 minutes earlier when Fuuma had decided he was claustrophobic and they were taking up too much space.  
  
*****

  
  
"Any luck, Karen-san?" Aoki adjusted his glasses and swept his gaze over the crowd one last time.  
  
"No," Karen shook her head. "I can't figure it out- what could Kamui be doing? If he was just blowing steam off somewhere, he wouldn't be this hard to find."  
  
"That depends."  
  
Karen arched an eyebrow. "Depends on WHAT?"  
  
"On whether or not he WANTS to be found." Aoki sighed. "Kamui is extremely introverted."  
  
Karen smiled. "Are you saying, then, that our pursuit of him is futile?"  
  
Aoki looked nervously at her. "No, No! Not at all! I'm just saying that it may be harder than we expected!"  
  
"Excuse me…"  
  
The two Ten no Ryu turned to see helpless, lost, little Nataku.  
  
"Oh! It's you!" Karen exclaimed. Nataku blinked.  
  
"Do you know where the 'Amnesty' headquarters are?" Nataku looked pleadingly into their eyes.  
  
"AWWWWWW…" Karen was overwhelmed by the sad puppy-ness of its expression, but Aoki was not as easily swayed.  
  
"Karen," He said, stepping between her and Nataku, "remember that this is a Chi no Ryu…"  
  
"But Aoki-san! Look at it!" She motioned to Nataku, who was confused as hell. "It's young and impressionable! I'm sure all it needs is a positive role model!"  
  
"Karen-san, it's tried to kill you before."  
  
"Uhm…I'm not sure Daddy would approve of my talking to you this long…" Nataku said, inching away.  
  
Karen grinned. "Regardless. It may know something about you-know-who." She winked. Aoki smiled.  
  
"Very well." He turned to Nataku. "Do you know anything about the whereabouts of Kamui?"  
  
"Why is everyone asking me him or Daddy today?!" Nataku whined. "I already sent some of you after him."  
  
Aoki frowned. "After Kamui or after your Daddy?"  
  
Nataku sighed. "I told Kamui where he could find Daddy, and I told a boy and girl Ten no Ryu where to find Kamui."  
  
"And where was that?"  
  
Nataku was becoming annoyed with this routine. Nobody cared about ITS feelings. No, all they cared about was what it knew about OTHER people. After a few seconds of careful thought he pointed to a structure in the distance and replied, "There."  
  
"TOKYO TOWER?!" Karen and Seiichirou cried in unison.  
  
"Sure." Nataku shrugged and walked off.  


*****

  
Subaru looked around the platform as he smoked his Mild Sevens. Yuzuriha had suggested that they search Tokyo Tower because Kamui may have come to enjoy the view. Subaru sincerely doubted that Kamui had the capacity to enjoy the view. He was probably looking for Fuuma. And why should he get in Kamui's way? Kamui probably wouldn't find him anyway. Besides, Subaru had more important thoughts. He remembered this particular platform from a case he had taken back when his sister was still with him. And when Seishirou-san loved him. Memories began to flood his mind as he lost contact with the real world…  
  
Suddenly, he was 16 again. The same age as Kamui now was. Had that triggered his memory? He had just arrived at Tokyo Tower to deal with a haunting. He was walking with his clients when…  
  
_"Subaruuuu!" Hokuto cried. "EH! SUBARU !"  
  
There were Hokuto and Seishirou.  
  
"Oh, Hokuto-chan and Seishirou-san, why'd you come here?" Subaru said.  
  
"Since I heard you were going to Tokyo Tower, I decided it would be a good date." Hokuto replied.  
  
Subaru was surprised. "Whose?"  
_  
_"Yours."  
  
"With whom?"  
  
"Seishirou-chan!"  
  
"Wh-what are you saying, Hoku-" Subaru began._  
  
"**Hello there, Subaru-kun**." A voice filled the room suddenly. A voice that sounded like…  
  
Subaru snapped back into reality. Yuzuriha was nowhere in sight. Startled, Subaru took a step back only to bump into the source of the voice. He realized this, however, all too late…  
  
  


*****

  
"Remind me again why I'm still with you?" Kamui muttered as he walked with Kusanagi.  
  
"Because I promised to help you find your beloved Fuuma if you lead me to the Missy. How I long to see her beautiful face…"  
  
"That's nice." Kamui had noticed two figures of interest approaching, one of which had had the audacity to lie to him earlier…  
  
"CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!" Yuuto sang deathly out of tune. "BRINGING GOOD CHEER!! TO YOUNG AND OLD!! MEEK AND THE BOLD !!"  
  
"No, NO! Christmas is NOT here!! Yuuto, what's wrong with you? Did those staples go through into your brain?" Satsuki cried. Yuuto smirked.  
  
"I know you- You're a fishmonger!"  
  
"A _WHAT_?"  
  
"Words, words, words." Yuuto giggled and danced in a little circle.  
  
"YUUTO!"  
  
"Oi- Kusanagi? I know a way you can help me find Fuuma…" Kamui smiled and whispered to the bulky soldier. Kusanagi had some doubts, but Kamui didn't care. It was his Birthday.  
  
And he was gonna have fun.  
  
"Soooo pleeeeeaaasse sir, if you run into my mamaaaaa!" Yuuto sang as he did cartwheels. Satsuki tried desperately to grab the civil servant and straighten him out.  
  
"YUUTO! STOP IT!!!!!!" She screamed bitterly. Yuuto abruptly ended his cartwheels and looked at her with large eyes.  
  
"…Satsuki? When did you get here?"  
  
"Oh, Yuuto!" She cried and hugged him. "You recognized me! That means you're getting bet-"  
  
"…Recognized you? No, I'm talking to Satsuki!" Yuuto motioned behind the woman who held him in her arms. Satsuki looked back, expecting to find a tree or lamppost or something, but instead…  
  
"Word up." Kamui smiled.  
  
"Kamui…? Wait a minute!" She glared at Yuuto. "YOU THINK KAMUI IS-"  
  
She was cut short by Kusanagi's sudden arrival. He quickly wrestled the incredibly stoned civil servant from her grasp and had pinned his arms behind him.  
  
"Kusanagi?!"  
  
"Hey- I'm against this idea as well! But Kamui has a valid argument…"  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"It's his birthday." Kusanagi smiled slightly. "Anyways, sorry about anything that's about to befall Yuuto."  
  
"MILLIONS OF PEEEEEEAAAACHHHES!!" Yuuto sang.  
  
"So, Yuuto…you think Paper clips aren't threatening enough?" Kamui asked as he cracked his knuckles.  
  
"The Paper clips are losers." Yuuto hissed. "If they ask you anything, tell them nothing! NEVER MENTION THE DOUGHNUT CONSPIRACY!!! HEE HEE HEE!!!"  
  
An awkward silence descended upon the scene.  
  
"WHAT?!" Kamui exclaimed. "Doughnut conspiracy?"  
  
"The Paper clips think they're so great because they have the office supplies behind them, but I myself have an ace up my sleeve. Satsuki, we MUST destroy Office Max before it's too late!"  
  
"What?" Kamui glanced at Satsuki, who shrugged.  
  
"He was like that when I found him." She said.  
  
"Damn…so much for-"  
  
"His wallet was also missing."  
  
*****

  
  
Sorata grinned as he handed the menu to the waitress.  
  
"Shouldn't we be looking for Kamui?" Arashi asked.  
  
"Nah…Trust me, Ne-chan! Give him some time to enjoy his new age alone. And while he's doing that,…" Sorata grabbed Arashi's hand from across the table. "WE can enjoy some time together. Right, Ne-cha-"  
  
Arashi shoved a fork into his hand. "I'm still here only because of the restaurant you've decided to treat me to."  
  
Sorata nursed his hand, but continued to smile. "Think of it as a date, ne-chan."  
  
Arashi sighed and glanced around the dining area. Crystal chandeliers, Marble Statues, Psudo-tapestries, and the regular posh fanfare everywhere you looked. She was a bit surprised that Sorata had brought her to such a place. Mind you, she knew that Sorata would take her anywhere she desired to eat and, in fact, she knew he could afford this restaurant. It just seemed… sporadic. As if Sorata had money he felt HAD to be spent.  
  
"Why ARE we here of all places, anyway?" She asked.  
  
"Because our dear friend Yuuto Kigai is paying for it." Sorata smirked and held up a wallet.  
  
"Sorata-san!!" Arashi cried. "When did you-"  
  
"Hey, hey! I said I was gonna do it!" He hugged the wallet close, in an over exaggerated manner. "Hey, after we eat here, wanna go buy a diamond ring?"  
  
Arashi stood. "Sorata-san, I can't accept this. You're free to spend his money, but I won't take part in it."  
  
"But Ne-chaaan. You already ordered…" Sorata pouted. Arashi thought of all the exquisite food that she had ordered moments before. Sighing, she sat back down.  
  
"You're taking responsibility for this." She muttered. The Monk smiled.  
  
"I knew you loved me!"  


*****

  
"Connect Four!" Morpheus cried in victory. Kakyou pouted.  
  
((I play winner!)) Hinoto announced.  


*****

  
Fuuma removed the headset as the elevator sprang back into life. About time. He smiled as the doors parted and the path to the yumeni appeared.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!" He heard a voice yell. One of her minions? He had no business with them. He continued on, despite their cries to their mistress.  
  
"Hinoto-hime!!!! DARK KAMUI IS HERE!!" Souhi screamed.  
  
"Hinoto-hime!!!!" Hien cried.  
  
Dark Hinoto lifted her head as Fuuma approached and smiled.  
  
((Souhi, Hien-Leave us be.))  
  
"But Hinoto-hime-!!"  
  
((Leave us be.)) The two looked at each other, but left slowly. Fuuma walked in front of the Yumeni and grinned.  
  
"Greetings."  
  
((Happy Birthday.))  
  
Fuuma's smile grew larger. "Ahhh…so it is indeed my birthday."  
  
((Yes…Kamui's birthday was this day. I'm afraid there is no one else here at the moment, however. Not even your little friend.))  
  
"Damn." Fuuma muttered. "I so wanted to play with him. It would be my present to myself."  
  
((Then you are in luck. You see, our Kamui is looking for you right now.))  
  
"Oh? Is that so?" Fuuma perked up. "Why, pray tell?"  
  
((Because it's Kamui's birthday.))  
  
Fuuma smirked and grabbed Dark Hinoto by the throat. "And where is he now?"  
  
((With Satsuki Yotonji,Yuuto Kigai, and Kusanagi Shiyuu.))  
  
"Thank ye kindly." Fuuma headed back to the elevator. Dark Hinoto smiled.  
  
((I will destroy the Ten no Ryu!))  
  


*****

  
  
_"Pretty flowers, aren't they?"  
  
"Do you like cherry blossoms?"  
  
" Yes."  
  
  
  
" Do you know that there are corpses buried under the cherry tree?"  
  
  
  
"There are... corpses?"  
  
"It's because the corpses are buried under the cherry tree, it blossoms every year. Cherry blossoms, they're really white; Pure white, like snow. Well, do you know why these cherry blossoms are pink? It's because they feed on the blood of the corpses buried below."  
  
"Aren't the people under the cherry tree suffering?"  
  
"Let's make a bet...If you and I can meet again..."  
_  
  
  
"I'm sorry…" Subaru mumbled in his sleep, "I can't hear you very well, because of the wind..."  
  
"Remembering our first meeting, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou smiled as he gazed at the unconscious onmyouji. Subaru didn't respond.  
  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!" Yuzuriha screamed at Seishirou. She and her little dog had been pinned against the wall by a Sakurazukamori spell. Seishirou pulled out his Ofuda and turned towards her.  
  
"Would you like me to use some more?" He hissed. She glared back, but said nothing. Inuki growled. "That's better." Seishirou turned back to his favorite prey. In a single motion, he removed several bottles of whipped cream from his coat. "Ready, Subaru-kun?" he smiled.  
  
  


*****

  
"Let me get this straight- you found Yuuto taped to the wall with little marker drawings all over his body, no wallet, and apparently out of his mind." Kamui waved a hand in front of Yuuto's eyes. Yuuto grinned.  
  
"How's it going, Satsuki?" He asked, facing Kamui. Satsuki sighed.  
  
"Yeah…and unfortunately, I don't think he'll be back with us anytime soon." Satsuki turned and glared at Kamui. "Did you do this to him?!"  
  
"Whoa, whoa!" Kamui put up his hands in defense. "I only hit him with paper clips. The staples and the duct tape were there when I found him! Whoever got him with the markers and screwed with his head came after I did."  
  
"Hm…" Kusanagi looked at the civil servant. "Do you think perhaps the markers are the cause of the insanity?"  
  
"Huh?" Satsuki and Kamui both turned to Kusanagi.  
  
"It seems to me that the marker fumes are probably what resulted in this. If you had a big old marker-"  
  
"Yuuto's got more than enough thick markers." Satsuki mused. "But that still doesn't tell us WHO-"  
  
"To you, my name is Ni-chan. Or atleast, that's what they know me as." Yuuto said to no one in particular. " 'Ni-chan,' they said, 'where's Kamui?' Or 'Why is today special?'"  
  
The group looked at each other in a stunned silence.  
  
" 'NI-CHAN?!'" Satsuki exclaimed, "THAT'S WHAT SORATA CALLS HIM!"  
  
"Who's been looking for me?" Kamui ran shook Yuuto. "WHO CAME LOOKING FOR ME?!"  
  
Yuuto said nothing. He just giggled and played with his fingers.

*****

…and that's all there is. ^_^ Unless there is great demand for more, that's all there will ever be. But please, review it!


	2. Part 2: Since you all apparently wanted

***  
  
"Sorata-san, I have a question."  
  
"Ask away, Ne-chan!"  
  
"You're already rich enough, aren't you?"  
  
"But Ne-chan! We can get so much with Yuuto's gift! Don't tell me you're backing out on me again!"  
  
"Well, these new dresses ARE nice and all, but aren't you afraid of what'll happen when Yuuto regains his senses?"  
  
"Nah, I'm not worried about that. Ooo! Let's go to Akihabara! I wanna see all the new electronics! Maybe they'll be a cool video game or something!"  
  
"If you say so, Sorata-san…"  
  
***  
  
Nataku frowned. It was lost.  
  
"And I was so close to getting rights for my kind too," It sulked. Maybe it should have asked that lady it kept running into about Amnesty. With a sigh, it sat down on the curb and tried to determine its next course of action.  
  
Its heart leapt when it noticed the sudden appearance of the author.  
  
"Filler space?" Nataku asked, hopefully. The author nodded.  
  
"Subaru's kinda unconscious, so he's out of the question. Besides, his jokes scare me…" The author turned to Nataku. "Do you have anything you'd like to share with the readers?"  
  
"Do I ever!" Nataku cried and, hopping to its feet, turned to the audience. "Hello there. My name is Kazuki, and-"  
  
"Nataku," The author coughed. Nataku glared.  
  
"Anyway, let me tell you a bit about myself before I launch into my main point. I enjoy Pina Coladas and long walks in the rain. I follow the New Left school of the study of history. You know, dialectical materialism and all. My hair is natural, not bleached. I wear shoes in the size-"  
  
"Get on with it," The author threatened, "Or I'm taking this filler space elsewhere."  
  
"Er…So, the point I'm trying to make is that I'm an individual, not unlike yourselves. However, society has created a bias against me? Why? Because I have no specified gender. Do you know how confusing it is to use public rest rooms?! Which is why I urge you to lobby for unisex bathrooms. At least then I don't have to worry about which on I choose! Everyone's equal!" Nataku paused for a moment to reflect on his statement. "Hm,…I guess this ties into my New Left beliefs. Basically, I'm asking for socialist bathrooms."  
  
The Author snorted. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Well, Daddy said socialism is the belief that everyone's equal, like in communism, which is revolutionary socialism."  
  
"Hate to break it to you, Nataku, but communism failed."  
  
There was a short silence.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!! NO!!! DOES THAT MEAN THAT UNISEX BATHROOMS WILL NEVER BECOME WIDESPREAD?!" Nataku whined.  
  
"'Fraid so," the author shrugged.  
  
"No! I won't allow that! The proletariat will rise up and overthrow the capitalist 'gender specific' bathrooms! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!" Nataku cried and made a peace sign with its fingers.  
  
"Uh…I think the proletariat are fine with how the bathroom situation is working out. " The author pointed out, "And I think you need to take a history class or at least READ the Communist Manifesto before you try anything too radical." But all of that logic was lost on the little gender-less Chi no Ryu who was already forming plans for an asexual revolution.  
  
"You're just a capitalist pig!" It proclaimed and to make a statement, lit the Amnesty information it carried with it on fire and waved it above its head. "And I don't have to listen to your lies! I will go off and rally the proletariat- in this case, those without gender! THEN YOU'LL SEE THE TRUE POWER OF-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, sure." The author muttered, walking away, "YOU try to find another asexual being. I'm going to find another, possibly less Marxist character to do the next filler."  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Aoki-san?" Karen looked at her companion from across the elevator. He smiled.  
  
"Yes, Karen-san?"  
  
"What are we going to do when we find Kamui?"  
  
Aoki sighed. "I don't really know. Perhaps we'll beg him to return to his party and enjoy the festivities? Or maybe it'll be late enough that we'll just tell him it's dinner and drag him back with us. I hadn't really thought of that."  
  
The elevator chimed and the doors parted. The two Ten no Ryu stepped out onto the platform and gazed out onto the city in front of them.  
  
"I don't think Kamui was every really here," Seiichirou mused. Karen nodded.  
  
"I don't either."  
  
The two enjoyed the view in silence.  
  
"I'm very happy we came, though, Aoki-san," Karen finally smiled, blushing slightly. Aoki returned her smile.  
  
"Karen-san…" Aoki began, turning to face Karen.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SUBARU-SAN?!!" Yuzuriha's voice screeched from the distance. The moment was ruined and the two stunned dragons blinked.  
  
"Huh?" They said in unison.  
  
"Yuzuriha-chan?" Karen glanced at Aoki, who nodded.  
  
"It sounds like she (and apparently Subaru) are in some sort of trouble!" Aoki stated, "So we better go help them!" He ran towards the source of the voice.  
  
Karen sighed. "I was so close…" She followed her companion.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Fuuma waltzed into the Chi no Ryu headquarters, whistling.  
  
"Kamuuuuui? You here?" He called. No answer. That meant nothing to him, however, because he knew the little scamp would probably be hiding from him. And after all, He had last seen Kusanagi and Satsuki here. Yuuto was free from his duct tape prison, he knew, so Kamui had to be here with him.  
  
Hadn't he?  
  
Kanoe wandered out at the sound of his voice. "Where the hell have you been? Satsuki's been complaining that you were threatening her and said something about Yuuto…"  
  
"Where's Kamui?" Fuuma looked the woman straight in the eyes. She shrugged.  
  
"He left with Shiyuu awhile ago. How should I know?"  
  
Fuuma frowned. That meant he was going to have to search the entire city of Tokyo for his favorite little plaything. That would require much effort. Too much, he decided, for any man to waste on his birthday. So he opted for his second choice:  
  
Force the comatose yumeni to find him.  
  
Which is why Fuuma forced his way into Kakyou's realm. He was surprised to find the Yumeni wasn't alone.  
  
((Who invited Dark Kamui?)) Hinoto muttered as she and the others played "Hungry, Hungry Hippos".  
  
"A friend of yours?" The Dream King pointed. Kakyou sighed.  
  
"Fuuma...what brings you here?"  
  
"What's going on?!" Fuuma demanded. He smirked at Hinoto and Morpheus. "Well, well..."  
  
Hinoto scooted away from Fuuma as he approached. ((Why are you here?))  
  
Fuuma continued to smirk. "I used to love playing "Hungry,Hungry Hippos." In fact, I used to play it with Kotori and Kamui all the time."  
  
((Huh. Well, that's nice, Fuuma, but-))  
  
"Aren't you going to invite me to join you?"  
  
"What?" Morpheus glanced at Kakyou, who laughed nervously.  
  
"Better do as he says," Kakyou said, creating a fourth seat, "I saw what he did to Yuuto Kigai..."  
  
"Ah," Fuuma smiled as he took his seat, "So you have been watching..."  
  
"Off and on," Kakyou admitted, "But I've been so busy entertaining guests that-"  
  
"Tell me, Kakyou," Fuuma stroked the Yumeni's hair, "Where is my little friend Kamui?"  
  
Kakyou sighed. "He is with Yuuto Kigai, Satsuki Y-"  
  
"Yes, Yes, I know all that, Kakyou. I want to know WHERE they all are at this moment."  
  
Kakyou shrugged. "They're back in Ueno park."  
  
Fuuma cocked his head. "Does that mean Sakurazuka is playing with Kamui? It's MY birthday."  
  
Kakyou blinked. "Uh....Happy Birthday, Fuuma."  
  
"Kamui." Fuuma corrected.  
  
"Anyway, THAT ASSHOLE WHO KILLED OFF THE LOVE OF MY-er- Seishirou is currently playing with Hokuto's brother."  
  
"I see." Fuuma stood and began to walk off. He turned back one last time to add, with a smirk, "Kakyou, if it means anything to you, remember- Subaru is Hokuto's TWIN brother."  
  
"What does that have to-"  
  
"Nothing...except that since Hokuto was ever so rudely taken from you, her brother may prove to be a suitable substitute. They looked incredibly similar as teenagers..."  
  
With that said, Fuuma left.  
  
((WTF?!)) Hinoto cried. ((Is he TRYING to hook you up with Subaru-san?!))  
  
"Are we still playing H.H.H.?" Morpheus wondered.  
  
Kakyou smiled. "Fuuma...has a point..."  
  
((Huh?))  
  
"They WERE twins, weren't they?" Kakyou mused, as his dreamscape changed into his memories of Hokuto.  
  
((You can't seriously be considering-))  
  
"Perhaps if I pretend he's HER..."Kakyou smiled, lost in his own fantasies.  
  
Morpheus glanced at the visions of Hokuto that surrounded them. "Who's the guy?"  
  
***  
  
"Satsuki, calm down!" Kusanagi cried. The techno girl looked up from her Palm Pilot and shot him a glare.  
  
'Not quite as good as MY glaring!' Kamui noted, happily.  
  
"I'm NOT letting Sorata get away with this! The Beast will take care of him!" Satsuki announced.  
  
"But we have no proof that he was the last person to visit Yuuto! Besides, what if he's with the Missy? She could get hurt too!"  
  
"Nah,...he's probably with Arashi," Kamui said.  
  
Satsuki grinned evilly. "Well then, I'll just have to make the Beast attack HER! His destiny is to die defending the woman he loves, is it not?"  
  
Kamui shrugged. "And your destiny is to have a computer kill you while you watch your rumored love interest get his arm ripped off and the like?"  
  
"WHAT?!" Satsuki exclaimed.  
  
"Uhm....Kamui? This isn't the X movie." Kusanagi explained.  
  
All three shuddered. "Brrr! Talk about a Cinematic failure!"  
  
"Speaking of rumored love interests," Satsuki looked around, "Where's Yuuto?"  
  
Kamui and Kusanagi blinked.  
  
"Hey, lady," Kamui said, "It's not MY Job to watch him."  
  
"Yeah, REALLY!"Kusanagi added, "He's YOUR rumored love interest!"  
  
"...Let's go find Fuuma," Kamui muttered and wandered off.  
  
"Hey! I thought we were looking for the Missy too!" Kusanagi cried, following the not quite as angsty as usual bishonen (Hey! It was his birthday!).  
  
Satsuki stood alone, in stunned silence. "Hey, guys!" she called, but got no answer. "COME ON GUYS!! WE HAVE TO FIND YUUTO!!! THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT... God Dammit! Well, they aren't doing ANYTHING until we find Yuuto!" With that, she bolted after the others.  
  
***  
  
Subaru was sleeping soundly in a serene dream world. This was probably a good thing, given what Seishirou had done to him.  
  
"Hey, little girl!" Seishirou grinned, "You want his pants?"  
  
Yuzuriha sniffled. Poor Subaru-san! Seishirou had stripped him down to nothing but his underwear (which Yuzuriha figured were only still on the Sumeragi because she was watching) and had covered him in a layer of whipped cream.  
  
"Don't be mean to Subaru-san!" she cried, struggling to get free.  
  
Seishirou smiled. "I'm not being mean. He likes it...don't you, Subaru-kun? ^_^" The assassin ran his hands over the unconscious Onmyouji's throat.  
  
"Seishi...rou-san..." Subaru mumbled in his sleep. Seishirou let his prey go and stood up, with a smirk.  
  
"Hungry?" he asked Yuzuriha, who gave him a funny look. "I only ask because it's rude to eat in front of others and I suppose there's enough whipped cream to share..."  
  
"That's disgusting!" Yuzuriha cried, "Leave Subaru-san alone!!"  
  
Seishirou shrugged. "Your loss." He bent down to do as liked, but was forced the leave his victim's side when a huge fireball came straight at him.  
  
"Subaru-san! DEAR GOD!!" Karen exclaimed as she ran over to the slumbering man with Aoki. Seishirou frowned. The pesky Ten no Ryu had come to ruin his fun. 


	3. Part 3: More for you all!

[The certain individual who has been requesting updates for the past few months (*cough* *cough* LittleGreenBear *cough*) may now sleep at night again.  
  
Also, there isn't much here, but that's because I wanted to get more on the web and if I wanted until I had more, it might have been awhile longer. After all, it's quality, not quantity. ^_^ ]  
* * *  
  
Arashi was growing bored with the exploitation of Yuuto's cash. "Sorata- san," she began, "I really think this is going too far."  
  
"But Ne-chan!" came the reply, "We ran out of cash, so the only logical thing to do is to max out his credit cards!" Sorata looked up from the table upon which he was getting a back massage. "You have to admit, the Swedish are the best at this sort of thing."  
  
Arashi laid her head back down on her own table. Sorata WAS right. This was a great stress reliever and with all the anxiety that went with the fast approaching end of the world, it was long over due. Still, she could not bring herself to fully relax. "Sorata-san, he will hate you for this."  
  
"He already hates me," Sorata pointed out, "So nothing new there."  
  
" I mean, he'll hate you even more. Perhaps even enough to kill you."  
  
"He's tried that too," Sorata smirked, "No luck there either."  
  
"You got lucky that time," Arashi sighed. It was no use arguing.  
  
"Arisugawa-san?" an attendant asked, shuffling in with a phone, "There is someone calling for you."  
  
"For me?" Sorata blinked. Arashi cocked her head.  
  
"But no one knows we're here, Sorata-san," She paused. "Well, unless Yuuto's tracked his credit cards."  
  
"I haven't paid yet, so that's not very likely," Sorata mused and picked up the receiver. "Yeah?"  
  
"If God had a name, what would it be?" The voice on the other end said, "And would you call it to his face if you were faced with him and all his glory? What would you ask if you had just one question?"  
  
"Oh, shit!" Sorata jerked up. His masseuse backed away.  
  
"Something wrong, sir?" He asked hesitantly.  
  
"Ne-chan," Sorata covered the mouth piece, "It IS Yuuto!"  
  
"You're so busted," Arashi muttered.  
  
"Now, Ni-chan,. . ." Sorata nervously laughed into the phone, "This isn't what you think . . ."  
  
"If I had just one question to ask God, I think I'd ask him 'Where have all the flowers gone,'" Yuuto said, "Because ever since the 3 rd age of Randor, I haven't seen any."  
  
". . .what?"  
  
"Do you know what the pixies tell me?"  
  
"The pixies?" Sorata blinked. "Ni-chan, are you still running on marker fumes?"  
  
"No! DON'T SAY THAT! THEY'LL HEAR YOU!!! SSSSSHHHH!!!"  
  
"How the hell did you know I was here?" Sorata inquired, "Because you're obviously still missing a few screws."  
  
"No thanks to you, Sorata-kun," came the reply before the line went dead.  
  
Suddenly Sorata was very afraid.  
  
* * *  
  
Nataku sighed and kicked a pebble. Amnesty International was a long forgotten dream. It had no hope of ever finding it now. It wasn't even sure if such a place existed, as it had been searching for hours to no avail.  
  
"This sucks," It declared, sitting down on a park bench. All it wanted was equal rights and equal treatment. Was that too much to ask? It glared at the many people that walked by it, some pausing only to gawk at the floating scarf around it. "What are YOU looking at?" it hissed at the 3 rd onlooker. She quickly hurried off. "This day could not get any worse," It decided. However, just then a melody of happiness floated through the air. A melody that one can only associate with-  
  
"THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!" Nataku's face lit up (because, after all, Nataku was a resurrected little girl). With a smile, Nataku skipped off with various school children to find the source of the sweet, sweet music.  
  
* * *  
  
There was an ocean.  
  
Subaru opened his eyes and glanced around. He certainly hadn't REMEMBERED coming to the sea. "Where am I?"  
  
"Hello there, Subaru Sumeragi," A voice said warmly. Subaru turned to Kakyou. "How do you like my dreamscape?"  
  
"Dreamscape?" Subaru blinked, "Am I dreaming?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Kakyou walked over to him and helped him to his feet. "But don't let that influence your opinion. The ocean that I have here is exceptionally beautiful, don't you think?"  
  
Not really sure what else he could do, Subaru nodded. "Yes, it's very nice."  
  
"Your sister liked it too," Kakyou grinned and walk down the rocks.  
  
"My- You knew Hokuto-chan?!" Subaru cried, running after Kakyou.  
  
"I was quite fond of her." An image of Hokuto, hand outstretched appeared suddenly before Subaru. "She would come here often when she was alive."  
  
Subaru gasped. "Hokuto-chan!"  
  
A short distance away, Hinoto and Morpheus sat playing cards and occasionally glancing over at the Yumeni.  
  
"Is he already putting the moves on that guy?" Morpheus asked, peeking around a rock.  
  
Hinoto nodded, somewhat put off. "Oh yes, he's been at it ever since Subaru woke up."  
  
"Well, he DOES look a lot like his brother."  
  
"That was his SISTER."  
  
"Whatever," Morpheus muttered, "I just wish him luck in seducing that guy."  
  
"He doesn't actually need a lot- Subaru's already gay." Hinoto turned back to her cards.  
  
"WHAT?" Morpheus laughed, "Then he shouldn't have any trouble at all."  
  
"How did you know my sister?" Subaru asked, finally looking up from the image of Hokuto.  
  
"She would come to me often, in her dreams," Kakyou sighed, "We were very much in love."  
  
Subaru went wide-eyed. "My sister was in love with you?"  
  
"Yes, she was. And I with her. And we could have been so happy, had it not been for Seishirou Sakurazuka."  
  
"Seishirou-san, . . ." Subaru put a hand to his heart and looked down.  
  
"He's no good for you," Kakyou suddenly put forth, "So stop thinking about him."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Seishirou Sakurazuka is not for you. It's pointless to give your heart to a man like that." Kakyou put an arm around the Onmyouji. "You can do much better."  
  
"Dear god, he's forward," Hinoto remarked.  
  
"Well, they WERE twins," Morpheus replied.  
  
"Yes, but they weren't the same gender. Kakyou's moving too fast for comfort."  
  
"The way I see it," The dream god said, "Is that he's been pining away for Hokuto everyday since she died. And now that he's got a body to play her part, he's going to go for it with all his power."  
  
"But Subaru is in love with another . . .Never the less, this will be entertaining," Hinoto grinned.  
  
"Uhhhhh. . ." Subaru began, slightly shrinking back, but was unsure as to what was the right course of action. "Wh-why exactly did you call me here, Mr.-uh. . . I never got your name. . ."  
  
"You don't need it, Hokuto-chan . . ." Kakyou said facing Subaru. He gave the Onmyouji a cryptic smile.  
  
"Ok, I want to wake up now," Subaru said, sliding out from under Kakyou's arm.  
  
"But Hokuto-chan," Kakyou grinned, "It's been so long."  
  
"I'm not Hokuto-chan and I'm not going any further with you. Please, just send me back to consciousness."  
  
"You don't want to go back there," Kakyou threw another arm around Subaru, this time holding him tighter. With his other hand he poked his nose. "You're wearing nothing but your skivvies and whipped cream there. So why not pretend with me and make me happy?"  
  
"WHAT?!" Subaru exploded.  
  
"Oh, come on, Hokuto-chan. You never used to get angry . . ."  
  
"I'M NOT F*CKING HOKUTO-CHAN!!" Subaru screamed, "AND I'M NOT PRETENDING WITH YOU!"  
  
"Then you'd rather be awake as Seishirou Sakurazuka licks away the topping until he gets to your exposed flesh?" Kakyou ventured.  
  
"That is not a pleasant mental image," Subaru said, turning red.  
  
"If it ain't pleasant, why is he blushing?" Morpheus asked.  
  
"Because it IS pleasant," Hinoto replied.  
  
"Look, I've been waiting to join Hokuto for years, Subaru," Kakyou sighed, "So why not just indulge me?"  
  
"This is horrible, . . ." Subaru muttered, "I'm being raped by two different men at the same time."  
  
* * *  
  
"Yuuto might be-"  
  
"No," Kusanagi and Kamui replied in unison, between mouthfuls of Soba noodles.  
  
"You're so horrible!" Satsuki pouted. "Yuuto has probably been hit by a car or something."  
  
"That would be a crying shame," Kamui said dryly.  
  
"Yup," Agreed Kusanagi.  
  
"I thought you were looking for Fuuma," Satsuki commented, finally mellowing out and sipping her tea.  
  
Kamui, with noodles dangling from his mouth, nodded to Kusanagi. "He says it's his Birthday," Kusanagi said.  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?!"  
  
"Geez, woman! That means he'll do as he pleases. Right, Kamui?"  
  
Kamui nodded. "Exactly."  
  
"But you already do that," Satsuki pointed out, "Because you're Kamui."  
  
"That's not the same," Kamui glared. Satsuki sighed.  
  
* * *  
  
Fuuma walked through a swirl of Sakura petals.  
  
And promptly sneezed.  
  
"Damn allergies," He mumbled, "Who the hell is allergic to sakura anyway?"  
  
"You are," Pointed out some random stranger, who had happened to overhear Dark Kamui talking to himself.  
  
* * *  
  
After Fuuma had properly taken care of the bloody corpse of the aforementioned passerby, he continued his trek through Ueno park.  
  
"I ain't seeing Kamui," He remarked, "And it's my damn birthday. Something is wrong here."  
  
He paused and glanced at the tree beside him. Its petals were pink, rather than the typical white. "So this is the tree, eh?" He mused. "I wonder if Seishirou is still messing around with that little toy of his . . ."  
  
* * *  
  
"Is he hurt?" Yuzuriha inquired as she tried to break free of the spell that held her.  
  
"Hurt?" Seishirou smirked, answering before the others could, "Of course not. He's simply sleeping. Aren't you, Subaru-kun?"  
  
". . .no. . . for the love of . . . get away from me, you sister loving freak. . . no. . . SEISHIROU-SAN! HELP! . . . Zzzz. . ." Came the reply from Subaru's sleeping lips.  
  
Every stood in an awkward silence for a minute.  
  
"Uh, Yes, well, anyhow," Seishirou said, gaining his composure again, "As you can see, Subaru-kun is calling out for me."  
  
"If he were so willing to be with you, why is he sleeping?" Aoki demanded, shooting a scornful glance at the older Onmyouji.  
  
"He's sleeping because he's tired," Seishirou said, "Obviously."  
  
Karen laid Subaru's head back upon the floor from her lap. "I doubt that very much. I suppose you're gonna tell us he's aware of the fact he's coated in whipped cream too."  
  
". . .actually, I did know that. . ." Subaru replied. Everyone glanced at him.  
  
"Still . . .sleeping," Karen said.  
  
"How the hell did he know-" Seishirou began, but caught himself. "As you can see, he's perfectly willing."  
  
Aoki frowned. "Yes, but we aren't."  
  
"What are you? His baby Sitters?" Seishirou shook his head. "Subaru-kun is an adult and he is capable of making his own decisions."  
  
"He's in no position to do so right now," Karen rose to her feet and created a ball of flame. "So if you'd kindly leave, we'll take him back."  
  
Seishirou put on a dramatic pout. "But I only wanted to make Subaru-kun happy."  
  
"I don't think happiness is synonymous whipped cream," Yuzuriha said.  
  
"Hey- Subaru-kun looks like the Redi-whip sort. Besides, what are you bitching about? I offered you a taste!"  
  
"Disgusting!" Yuzuriha grimaced.  
  
"No, tasty," said Seishirou as he calmly walked back towards Subaru. "Now, will you let me take my 'snack' or will I have to fight you?"  
  
"Fight," said the three in unison. Seishirou sighed and removed his sunglasses.  
  
"I expected as much. Let's go."  
  
* * *  
  
"Not so cocky now, are we?" Arashi commented as Sorata quickly ushered her from the massage parlor and into a cab.  
  
"Ha ha, no I'm not," he said, sitting next to her. "Diet building, please," he told the driver.  
  
"What brought this sudden fear, besides Yuuto calling?"  
  
"The fact that I can't tell if he's still high or sober again. And the possibility that he's somewhere in between." Sorata rubbed his forehead. "I certainly hope it's not the latter."  
  
"Well, whatever he is, he has every right to be angry with you," Arashi leaned back. "Why would half sober worry you more than completely sober?"  
  
"Because," Sorata sighed, "It would mean he was sane enough to be downright pissed but out of it enough to have no inhibitions."  
  
"Such as?" Arashi asked.  
  
Suddenly, the cab (along with the rest of traffic) was hit by a random tidal wave that had somehow managed to form in the middle of a city gridlock.  
  
"Oh," Said Arashi, before the car filled with water. 


End file.
